Musings of an expat grad student... oy vey.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

On... oh, fuggit.

The "On [thing]" posts were getting a bit pretentious and JS Mill-like for me, so I figure I'll stop trying to be an Academic and just be a person who happens to be an academic. Also, I find it terribly ironic that my post on procrastination was immediately followed by a three-week silence. Go, me. Though that blog-silence was mostly filled with dutiful library visits, and I've now got over 12,000 words of just notes for my 12,000-word dissertation, as well as a thousand words actually written, so I'm riding high on the getting-stuff-done endorphins.

First of all, there's something very important. A woman pseudonymed Badger, someone who I don't know personally, but who is a fantastic, inspirational writer, has a husband who is dying of liver cancer and whose medical bills are through the roof due to the good old American way of letting the poor and sick fend for themselves. A kind, generous woman whose blog I found yesterday - and whose academic coaching I will almost certainly partake of in a few years' time as I enter the job market - has set up a fundraising page for them at this URL, so if you're one of the one or two people who reads this and you have a few extra bucks in your Paypal account, drop them that way, eh?

Today is my husband's birthday, and he's spending it at a friend's stag night. At first it bothered me, but hey, he has a birthday every year and this is, hopefully, the one and only time his friend is getting married. The wedding is in two weeks and it will be the first wedding for us since our own. I wonder if it'll be strange or joyful or both to watch someone else take the vows we took, and know that our wedding, which took 16 months of heavy planning and was attended by almost 200 guests, is in the past now. A major milestone already passed for me, and I'm only 23. Sometimes I feel a bit of a fraud, like I'm really still a kid and fooling people into letting me make all these adult decisions. I've got a cat! I've got a flat! I've almost got an MA, and someone accidentally let me into a PhD program! I've got an academic publication coming up! I've got a MARRIAGE! What yahoo decided it was a good idea to trust me with a marriage? I'm worried I'll drop it or something.

Next time I promise I'll go back to the cultural analysis...

3 Comments:

  • I like the "on whatever" things. I though the same thing about your post about procrastination being followed by a long silence and was going to comment to that effect. But I procrastinated. Congrats on all those things, MA, PhD acceptance, marriage, etc. :)

    By Blogger Stroll, at 4:11 PM  

  • I love The Lonely Londoners...
    I'm a big Selvon fan. So I was pleased to stroll over here when I saw a link to you.

    By Blogger verbal chameleon, at 10:13 PM  

  • Haha, I feel the same way about "adulthood" as you describe here. What? I'm a grad student? I'm a teacher? Parents are entrusting ME to educate THEIR precious bundles of joy??? *Cerebral short circuit*. I'm finally subscribing to your blog's feed and I'm ever so glad that I did! Thanks for linking me too! Now I feel like I should be more productive on my blog :-)

    By Blogger Bewildered Academic, at 7:51 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home